A PROMISE 04/05/2010
A PROMISE Promise me nothing and I’ll expect nothing more. Just stay until you can A flower in a vase can last only until it wilts. Don’t comfort me I might be reassured False hopes are drops of lemon to a wound Since you left I’ll promise I’ll never fall for you Since you sought to find yourself, I was left to the comfort of my tears But like lightning that catches hay, I enflamed Held by your charm on your return Foolish hearts never learn I’ve lost you many times before History’s loops might pass me another turn Tears may be lurking just around the bend But this time I won’t let you promise permanence Spare me the words that make me feel secure… Instead , love me For as long as you can For as far as your will takes you For as much as you can give With nothing left for fire to burn ……But promise nothing more BY : HAZEL Nothing is the same…. Without Mom 11/19/2009
Nothing is the same…. Without Mom Christmas isn't going to be the same, it's the first after mom's death. Ironically, mom's absence seems even more intense than before. It seems like the farther you go from the event of a loved one's dying, the stronger its gravitational pull on your psyche. I wonder if that's only true for the first few years afterwards... and will later years find an orbit of normalcy, one in which the fact of death lessens its sting over time. I do still sense the spirit of the Christmas season, Christmas is still an exciting time of year. So I'm disappointed in myself for not having much motivation to help make it a truly magical time. I know my mom would have told me to just get off my duff and do something about it instead of mope about it. But I am not as strong as she would have wanted me to be, or as she might have expected me to be, and for now I indulge in the grip of this lassitude. I will just seek understanding from friends and loved ones... who I hope will not fault me too badly for this, unless they too have had the experience of losing a mother, and who may know in fact that it doesn't have to be this way. It was my mom who always took the lead in bringing a Christmassy feel to our home. Tree lights flashing and decorations all looking good, I felt this tug at my heart and tears on my face. I have never had a Christmas without her, so this is all new to me and I need to find a way to have me get thru it… it seems harder each day…. Just could not stay and face another day of pain and sadness for not remembering and drifting away… A few tears fell down of course as I knew, I had to get off my rear as you would say and "get it done" . The tears will still come but I know that is normal. Everyday for the rest of my life, you left quite the legacy with your ways and your love. I know you will be watching constantly… Wishing us hope happiness and love. It broke my heart to lose her but I knew that she wasn't in pain anymore and she could now rest. I'd been doing okay with her death …But now, with Christmas 40 days away, she's been on my mind A LOT lately. I find myself grieving more for her now than when she passed away. I'm more depressed lately and find myself thinking more and more about her. I know they say the holidays are the toughest time when loved ones aren't around -- but this is so hard. Sometimes we have something without truly knowing what we have. Sometimes we hold something without knowing completely what we hold. Sometimes we are given something without fully appreciating what we are given. But that knowledge usually comes when we realize what we have lost. I wish it wasn’t this way... - HAZEL - A CRY FOR HELP 11/08/2009
A cry for Help I’ve always wanted to say this to you For such a long time now But I could not move I am a weakling. Look at me! Don’t you ever have mercy on me? I’ve suffered enough Such humiliation, my people Can’t you see? You are my last and only hope I’ve swallowed my pride Please listen and look at me in the eye. I could not bear this any longer I could not breathe! “Pengeng tissue… Barado ilong ko!” by: HaZeL CHANCES 10/31/2009
Chances Chances fade as easily as it comes by Words we have been meaning to say, things we have been meaning to do all come to past…Everything falls under Chances slip so fast, just when you thought it would stay longer Live as if you have tomorrow to hold and you’d be stuck in the time of eternity Wasting yourself away without even being sentient Chances don’t always knock sometimes they just come around Fritter your time away,thinking, pondering But just as you find the best time to say things Just as you find the right words Just when you think it’s your best chance Chances just fade… BY: HAZEL LIKE EVERY MAN’S MOMENT OF A WRITTEN DREAM (a prose) Whenever a writer writes, he remembers the ultimate limit of his craft that life is finite and so his ink. Soon, the candle that is the emblem of his passion comes to a slow fade and is snuffed away. And when he looks back at what he had done, it is nothing but wax. Some ball of wax that is the perfect definition of his life, that a candle once lived, challenged sempiternity, and burned itself. He was once the light bringer and warmth giver and all that he had wrought in his dream. Inscribed on a paper with a pen in his hands will be nothing more than a small fraction of yesterday’s spiral oblivion and maybe, just maybe, a tiny portion of reader’s life. So even as he writes, he realizes how he wastes his life on ink. And as he recalls all his times and moments he could have spent basking a leisure a perfect sunset or gazing at a rock that people marvelously and romantically call the crown of every midnight, he recognizes how much life and ink he had spent on his dreams. But then again to those who have never seen, heard, tasted or felt his words; he gave them a soft sense of reality. A reality that will soon be forgotten, or perhaps as another reality encased in a book and kept in the shelves of a cold library. a Know this, dear reader, friend; as soon as you read the first few words of every prose or poetry, understand that someone has spent a fragment of his life, that he may convey to you a thought. It may be an idea, or a message; or perhaps he wishes to merely share with you his lonely life, and make you understand that we are all candles and one day we will breathe our last… So while your flame is burning, share the warmth and light of it…. by HAZEL IF ONLY YOU COULD BE ME FOR A MOMENT... 09/21/2009
IF ONLY YOU COULD BE ME FOR A MOMENT... Sometimes i wish you could step into my shoes just for a little while- to think what i think; to see what i see; to feel what i feel; to understand the confusion, the fear, the admiration, and the friendship i feel toward you all at once. If you were able to live inside my mind, even for a moment, you would see that my world is filled with so many responsibilities, yet so often my thoughts are of you. you would see what joy you've brought to my life. you would see how much it means to me to be able to smile, laugh, to feel good. to feel free, like a child just because of you. If you had the chance to take the smallest glimpse inside of me, you would see gratitude and respect- respect ot only for what you are making of yourself, but also for what you are helping me to be. and you would see how much all of that means to me. But the thing that would strike you must- if ever you had the chance to be me- would be all the love I feel for you. and once you had felt it, you would always remember it, and you would understand that, although I am not always be able to express it or to explain its depth or importance to me, it is always there.. inside if me. by: bess SLIPS OF THE PEN 09/01/2009
Sacrifice… You made one. I made one. We all made them… sacrifices are a part of our life. It’s supposed to be. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices. It’s something to aspire. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it, you’re just passing it on to someone else. “NO LIFE IS A WASTE”, the only thing we waste is the time spend thinking we are alone. Holding ANGER is… a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us, but HATRED is… a curved blade. The harm we do, we do unto ourselves. FORGIVE… That’s because no one is born with anger and when we die, the soul is freed from it. But now, in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it. We need to forgive. People say they “FIND” love as if it were an object hidden underneath a rock, but love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. What people find is a “CERTAIN” love. LOVE…like rain nourishes the earth from above-drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must then nourish itself from below, tending to its roots to keep it alive. “LIFE has to END. LOVE does not.” Lost love is still love. It just takes a different form, that’s all. You cannot see the person’s smile… or bring them food… or tousle their hair… or move them around the dance floor, but when those senses weaken, another heightens. MEMORY… memory becomes your partner… you nurture it… you hold it… you dance with it. LIFE: we are all connected… each affects the other and other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one. posted by : KATHLEEN I MISS YOU MOM ... 08/13/2009
I am praying so much that I am doing the right thing by posting on this blog to find some comfort. My mom passed away on the 5th of January. She was my best friend, I could tell her anything and she loved me unconditionally. I am so physically and emotionally wrecked right now, it is so raw and unbearable constantly. The word “raw” is so true when describing how we feel emotionally, and all sorts of feelings are coming to the surface, it really does hurt so much I was walking around aimlessly for what seemed like forever. I am so afraid to deal with this pain inside. I just want to stuff it down farther and farther, but to no avail. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, and all I know is that everywhere I look, everything I hear, I see my Mom. She was in so much pain, and I know that she’s resting peacefully now, but it all happened so fast. Today marks day 210 that she has been gone, and it is still the up and down rollercoaster of emotions. Being a busy mom with 2 kids actually helps me to remember that what my Mom wanted the most in her life was to see us to take each day “One day at a time” and to appreciate the little thighs… hugs, the sunshine through the clouds, a sweet, “I LOVE YOU, MOMMY” when you least expect it, a good piece of chocolate. Everything that goes on in my life I feel as if it would be fixed if my mom was still alive. I have no idea how to pull thru some days. I still cry over everything so I don’t know what the usual time is for these things to get better. Thank you mom for your kindness, it means so much to know that we are never alone. I often say that, but it helps so much when the days seem dark and dreary. It is just so unbearably hard to realize that we will never see you again. Time to mourn and time to heal, There are no “rules” on processing this loss. The pain come and go like the waves of the ocean. Crazy thoughts, it is all grieving. Loving peaceful thoughts will replace that emptiness in time. Hazel (manila , philippines)  MARRIAGE Parang kailan lang by malandi_ako 04/12/2009
Parang kailan lang | attention!!
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