MyЯadio - Internet Hottest Radio Station - BLOG

A PROMISE

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 01:05:21 -0800

A PROMISE
Promise me nothing and I’ll expect nothing more.
Just stay until you can
A flower in a vase can last only until it wilts.

Don’t comfort me
I might be reassured
False hopes are drops of lemon to a wound

Since you left I’ll promise I’ll never fall for you
Since you sought to find yourself,
I was left to the comfort of my tears
But like lightning that catches hay, I enflamed
Held by your charm on your return

Foolish hearts never learn
I’ve lost you many times before
History’s loops might pass me another turn
Tears may be lurking just around the bend

But this time I won’t let you promise permanence
Spare me the words that make me feel secure…

Instead , love me
For as long as you can
For as far as your will takes you
For as much as you can give
With nothing left for fire to burn
……But promise nothing more

BY : HAZEL

Nothing is the same…. Without Mom

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:04:15 -0800

Nothing is the same…. Without Mom

Christmas isn't going to be the same, it's the first after mom's death. Ironically, mom's absence seems even more intense than before. It seems like the farther you go from the event of a loved one's dying, the stronger its gravitational pull on your psyche. I wonder if that's only true for the first few years afterwards... and will later years find an orbit of normalcy, one in which the fact of death lessens its sting over time.

I do still sense the spirit of the Christmas season, Christmas is still an exciting time of year. So I'm disappointed in myself for not having much motivation to help make it a truly magical time. I know my mom would have told me to just get off my duff and do something about it instead of mope about it. But I am not as strong as she would have wanted me to be, or as she might have expected me to be, and for now I indulge in the grip of this lassitude. I will just seek understanding from friends and loved ones... who I hope will not fault me too badly for this, unless they too have had the experience of losing a mother, and who may know in fact that it doesn't have to be this way.

It was my mom who always took the lead in bringing a Christmassy feel to our home. Tree lights flashing and decorations all looking good, I felt this tug at my heart and tears on my face. I have never had a Christmas without her, so this is all new to me and I need to find a way to have me get thru it… it seems harder each day…. Just could not stay and face another day of pain and sadness for not remembering and drifting away… A few tears fell down of course as I knew, I had to get off my rear as you would say and "get it done" . The tears will still come but I know that is normal. Everyday for the rest of my life, you left quite the legacy with your ways and your love. I know you will be watching constantly… Wishing us hope happiness and love.

It broke my heart to lose her but I knew that she wasn't in pain anymore and she could now rest. I'd been doing okay with her death …But now, with Christmas 40 days away, she's been on my mind A LOT lately. I find myself grieving more for her now than when she passed away. I'm more depressed lately and find myself thinking more and more about her. I know they say the holidays are the toughest time when loved ones aren't around -- but this is so hard.

Sometimes we have something without truly knowing what we have. Sometimes we hold something without knowing completely what we hold. Sometimes we are given something without fully appreciating what we are given. But that knowledge usually comes when we realize what we have lost.

I wish it wasn’t this way...

- HAZEL -

A CRY FOR HELP

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:02:46 -0800

A cry for Help

I’ve always wanted to say this to you
For such a long time now
But I could not move
I am a weakling.

Look at me!
Don’t you ever have mercy on me?
I’ve suffered enough
Such humiliation, my people

Can’t you see?
You are my last and only hope
I’ve swallowed my pride
Please listen and look at me in the eye.

I could not bear this any longer
I could not breathe!
“Pengeng tissue…
Barado ilong ko!”

by: HaZeL

CHANCES

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:22:12 -0800

Chances

Chances fade as easily as it comes by
Words we have been meaning to say,
things we have been meaning to do
all come to past…Everything falls under

Chances slip so fast,
just when you thought it would stay longer
Live as if you have tomorrow to hold
and you’d be stuck in the time of eternity
Wasting yourself away
without even being sentient

Chances don’t always knock
sometimes they just come around
Fritter your time away,thinking, pondering
But just as you find
the best time to say things
Just as you find the right words
Just when you think it’s your best chance
Chances just fade…

BY: HAZEL

LIKE EVERY MAN’S MOMENT OF A WRITTEN DREAM (a prose)

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:07:12 -0800

LIKE EVERY MAN’S MOMENT OF A WRITTEN DREAM (a prose)

Whenever a writer writes, he remembers the ultimate limit of his craft that life is finite and so his ink.

Soon, the candle that is the emblem of his passion comes to a slow fade and is snuffed away. And when he looks back at what he had done, it is nothing but wax. Some ball of wax that is the perfect definition of his life, that a candle once lived, challenged sempiternity, and burned itself.

He was once the light bringer and warmth giver and all that he had wrought in his dream. Inscribed on a paper with a pen in his hands will be nothing more than a small fraction of yesterday’s spiral oblivion and maybe, just maybe, a tiny portion of reader’s life.

So even as he writes, he realizes how he wastes his life on ink. And as he recalls all his times and moments he could have spent basking a leisure a perfect sunset or gazing at a rock that people marvelously and romantically call the crown of every midnight, he recognizes how much life and ink he had spent on his dreams.

But then again to those who have never seen, heard, tasted or felt his words; he gave them a soft sense of reality. A reality that will soon be forgotten, or perhaps as another reality encased in a book and kept in the shelves of a cold library.
a
Know this, dear reader, friend; as soon as you read the first few words of every prose or poetry, understand that someone has spent a fragment of his life, that he may convey to you a thought. It may be an idea, or a message; or perhaps he wishes to merely share with you his lonely life, and make you understand that we are all candles and one day we will breathe our last… So while your flame is burning, share the warmth and light of it….

by HAZEL

IF ONLY YOU COULD BE ME FOR A MOMENT...

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 02:21:57 -0800

IF ONLY YOU COULD BE ME FOR A MOMENT...

Sometimes i wish you could step into my shoes just for a little while-
               to think what i think; to see what i see; to feel what i feel;
                to understand the confusion, the fear, the admiration,
                and the friendship i feel toward you all at once.

If you were able to live inside my mind, even for a moment,
                you would see that my world is filled with so many responsibilities,
                yet so often my thoughts are of you.
                 you would see what joy you've brought to my life.
                 you would see how much it means to me
                 to be able to smile, laugh, to feel good.
                 to feel free, like a child just because of you.

If you had the chance to take
                 the smallest glimpse inside of me,
                 you would see gratitude and respect-
                 respect ot only for what you are making of yourself,
                 but also for what you are helping me to be.
                 and you would see how much
                 all of that means to me.

But the thing that would strike you must-
                 if ever you had the chance to be me-
                 would be all the love I feel for you.
                 and once you had felt it,
                 you would always remember it,
                 and you would understand that,
                 although I am not always be able
                 to express it or to explain
                 its depth or importance to me,
                 it is always there.. inside if me.

by: bess

SLIPS OF THE PEN

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 22:47:41 -0800

Sacrifice… You made one. I made one. We all made them… sacrifices are a part of our life. It’s supposed to be. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices. It’s something to aspire.

Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it, you’re just passing it on to someone else. “NO LIFE IS A WASTE”, the only thing we waste is the time spend thinking we are alone.

Holding ANGER is… a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us, but HATRED is… a curved blade. The harm we do, we do unto ourselves.

FORGIVE… That’s because no one is born with anger and when we die, the soul is freed from it. But now, in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it. We need to forgive.

People say they “FIND” love as if it were an object hidden underneath a rock, but love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. What people find is a “CERTAIN” love. LOVE…like rain nourishes the earth from above-drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must then nourish itself from below, tending to its roots to keep it alive. “LIFE has to END. LOVE does not.” Lost love is still love. It just takes a different form, that’s all. You cannot see the person’s smile… or bring them food… or tousle their hair… or move them around the dance floor, but when those senses weaken, another heightens.

MEMORY… memory becomes your partner… you nurture it… you hold it… you dance with it. LIFE: we are all connected… each affects the other and other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one.

posted by : KATHLEEN

I MISS YOU MOM ...

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 00:28:44 -0800

I am praying so much that I am doing the right thing by posting on this blog to find some comfort. My mom passed away on the 5th of January. She was my best friend, I could tell her anything and she loved me unconditionally. I am so physically and emotionally wrecked right now, it is so raw and unbearable constantly. The word “raw” is so true when describing how we feel emotionally, and all sorts of feelings are coming to the surface, it really does hurt so much I was walking around aimlessly for what seemed like forever. I am so afraid to deal with this pain inside. I just want to stuff it down farther and farther, but to no avail. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, and all I know is that everywhere I look, everything I hear, I see my Mom. She was in so much pain, and I know that she’s resting peacefully now, but it all happened so fast.

Today marks day 210 that she has been gone, and it is still the up and down rollercoaster of emotions. Being a busy mom with 2 kids actually helps me to remember that what my Mom wanted the most in her life was to see us to take each day “One day at a time” and to appreciate the little thighs… hugs, the sunshine through the clouds, a sweet, “I LOVE YOU, MOMMY” when you least expect it, a good piece of chocolate.

Everything that goes on in my life I feel as if it would be fixed if my mom was still alive. I have no idea how to pull thru some days. I still cry over everything so I don’t know what the usual time is for these things to get better. Thank you mom for your kindness, it means so much to know that we are never alone. I often say that, but it helps so much when the days seem dark and dreary. It is just so unbearably hard to realize that we will never see you again.

Time to mourn and time to heal, There are no “rules” on processing this loss. The pain come and go like the waves of the ocean. Crazy thoughts, it is all grieving. Loving peaceful thoughts will replace that emptiness in time.

Hazel (manila , philippines)

This is very touching. Even if you are not married you can save a marriage

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 22:15:17 -0800

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:

She didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me.

But she had something more. She asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning

I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.

Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms..." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning.. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... Jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs.. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" She said.

I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah....blah. .blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.

thanks,
donna

Parang kailan lang by malandi_ako

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 09:58:21 -0800

Parang kailan lang
Ang mga pangarap ko'y kay hirap abutin
Dahil sa inyo
Napunta ako sa iba't ibang CBOX
Nais ko kayong pasalamatan
dahil may WWW.MYRADIOBLOG.ORG na

Parang kailan lang
Halos wala akong makausap
Dahil sa inyo
Ang aking monitor ay nagkalaman
Kaya't itong pc at lappy ko
Nais ko'y kayo ang handugan

Tatanda at lilipas din tayong lahat
Ngunit mayro'ng MYRADIOBLOG at friendster
Iiwanan sa lahat alaala
Dahil minsan, tayo'y nagkasama

Parang kailan lang
ako'y masyadong malungkot
Dahil sa inyo
Narinig ang isip ko at naintindihan
Dahil dito'y ibig ko kayong ituring
Na matalik kong kaibigan

salamat sa lahat

1up 1up 1up